Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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