i just google imaged poop.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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