just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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