he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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