Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
