I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
