The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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