I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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