drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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