sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I am available for nakedness
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
