Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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