Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
