I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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