HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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