Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he puts the penis in happiness.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
