I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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