found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
