Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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