We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
