The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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