I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
we should paint friendship bongs
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
