Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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