She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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