Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
