You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
