??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
