I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
