I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
