Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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