You work out of a Hotel?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
