...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
