dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
