i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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