I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
