Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
