I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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