happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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