Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
