my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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