then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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