She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
