Soap is not a condiment
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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