I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
