definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
