I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
