He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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