Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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