Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
