i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
is wine microwaveable?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
