Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i think i have two assholes
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
