bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
