Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I will die if light touches me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Randomize