OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
