I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize