i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
