the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
