You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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