ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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