just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
