Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
