u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
